30 lessons I've learnt at 30

I turn 30 this month. If you were to ask 20-year old me, I would've dreaded this day. There's a lot of stigma when it comes to turning old, especially if you're a female. However, as I grow older, I slowly find myself being okay with it. Maybe turning old isn’t as scary as it seems.

There are so many things I’ve learnt over the years and I’ve seen articles detailing lessons that were recounted which have given me insight to the writer’s learnings and perspectives. And so I’ve decided to create my own version as well, which could be something worth looking back on in the coming years.

30 things I’ve learnt at 30:

1) Be kinder to yourself. We tend to be really hard on ourselves. One way I’ve learnt to measure this is to imagine how certain thoughts I have for myself would sound when it’s verbalised to someone else. With this, it’s surprising how self-critical I can get. If we’re never like this to others, why are we so unkind with ourselves?

2) Your metabolism slows down greatly after 25. You might think that this slowdown might come later (40s? 50s?), but it doesn’t. 

3) Sleeping early is not uncool. It is actually self-care. A sufficient night’s sleep can do wonders to the following day.

4) You might someday be affected by the hustle culture, especially as your peers start advancing the career ladder. But you don’t have to lean in to this culture. It might get difficult over time because society tends to get really loud on career achievements, but always check in with what you truly want from time to time.

5) Life doesn’t get less confusing. Think it might get clearer over time? News flash: it doesn’t. Learn to accept that life will always be filled with unknowns, and we don’t have to have it all figured out. Life is a journey, and that’s what makes it exciting.

6) Try not to get too attached to things, be it good or bad moments. Life can work in its own funny ways, where a single decision could change the entire trajectory of your life. Gently cradle each moment, and let it go when it passes.

7) Try meditation. The world is really noisy, but if our inner selves are at peace, it quietness down.

8) Remind yourself that you can’t control what happens, but you can control how you react to it. Our reactions also show a lot about how we are as an individual.

9) Surround yourself with books. We’re so lucky to have access to so many great books! You’re learning from individuals who have distilled their life’s learnings into these treasures.

10) Recognise that life would come with both good and bad days. Bad days don’t mean a bad life. It’s okay to feel sad, dejected, or down. But have faith that things will also get better. At the same time, embrace happiness as it comes, but don’t be too fixated in having certain goals as our goalpost of happiness.

11) It’s okay to have fun as adults. You don’t have to be serious all the time. Let loose, be silly. Do spontaneous stuff. Experience new things. Make new memories.

12) What you don’t ask, you don’t get. I used to be really scared of everything, thinking I wasn’t ‘qualified’ enough to ask for certain things in life. But I realised that to increase my luck surface area, I gotta shoot the shots I wish to take. Sometimes, we’re our own only obstacles. 

13) Happiness isn’t about positive or negative feelings. It is about the absence of desire for external things. The fewer desires, the more I can accept the current state I’m in, the more present I am, the more content I can be. - Naval Ravikant

14) Find ways to practise gratitude. It allows you to view situations differently once you have that integrated in your system. 

“Your capacity for gratitude is inversely proportional to your sense of entitlement.” - Mark Brooks

15) Be a minimalist. A maximalist has no upper limit for satisfaction, whereas a minimalist needs very little to be satisfied. - Juliana Chan

16) Believe in the power of compounding. It may feel dreadfully slow at the start, but you’ll reap magical results over time. 

17) Money doesn’t have to be scrimped and saved. Be willing to splurge on experiences that you think is worth it.

“The purpose of life is to experience things for which you will later experience nostalgia.” - FedSpeak

18) Your calendar is a better measure of success than your ban account. - James Clear

19) Write your obituary, then work backwards to live it. - Warren Buffett

20) The way people make you feel when you interact with them tells you everything you need to know about them. - Robin Sharma

21) It’s really important who has access to your energy and time. These two precious resources are finite, so spend it on people who matter.

22) Don’t take criticism from people you won’t take advice from.

23) Purge your social media apps. Unfollow accounts that drain your time and energy. Too much time has been spent on doomscrolling, so find ways to avoid them.

24) Invest in your relationships and don’t take them for granted.

25) Spend more time with your family members, especially your parents. As we’re becoming adults, they’re getting older.

26) The quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships. - Esther Perel 

27) We sometimes expect too much from our partners. Instead of seeking everything from one person, we could seek different things from different people. That can make us less resentful as well. 

28) Don’t be afraid of growing old. Some people don’t get to do it. So embrace that tiny wrinkle and strand of grey hair. 

29) When life gets overwhelming, take three long and deep breaths. It helps to provide a quick mental reset.

30) Use money to gain control over your time, because not having control of your time is such a powerful and universal drag on happiness. The ability to do what you want, when you want, with who you want, for as long as you want to, pays the highest dividend that exists in finance. - Morgan Housel