Why I value Personal Finance so much

When I was little, I didn’t think of money much. All I knew was there was always food on the table, I would get my weekly pocket money, I would get chunks of money during Chinese New Year which would be stashed away in my POSB account. Money never seemed like an issue, perhaps I was just a kid - the parents would never talk about money in front of us. I had art classes, piano lessons, and almost went into ballet classes - I remembered not liking how the class was, so mama didn’t sign me up.

Primary school was.... fun? A breeze? I had this confidence when friends who learned piano asked - 'So, which grade are you?', and I would answer with utmost pride - 'Grade 8!', when I turned Primary 6. I was also given opportunities to perform in front of the entire school, and I relished in the applause from the floor. Thinking back, I might have been a lil cocky kid huh. Haha.

At that time, money just didn’t seem like an issue. I mean, I was having classes only a few others had, right? (I was probably also too damn young to understand, or be told anything.)

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Then came Secondary school. I think it’s the period of adolescence where you think you know everything. Naturally, money became something everyone started being aware of. I mean, people started using Billabong pencil cases, had Roxy backpacks and whatnot. I remembersome classmates having the envy of others when they had outrageous amounts of daily pocket money.

I remember feeling slightly confused when I was asked to apply for financial assistance. I remember being just one of the two people in my class receiving food slips every month, where the teacher called our names at the front of the class to receive them. I remember my cheeks being flushed with embarrassment everytime that happened. I remember dreading this monthly ordeal. You mean..... everyone knows I’m poor now..?

I remember telling my mama how embarrassed I felt when I had to use those food coupons during lunch breaks. I felt that the tuckshop auntie was judging me when I handed her the little slips, and that she was remembering who this pathetic kid was. She probably wasn’t thinking about that at all, but the me back then felt this psychological stress chewing me up. I became really self-conscious during breaks, and felt so small and lousy. Mama saw how it was consuming me inside, and told me to stop using it immediately. Looking back, it was such a stupid move. Young and immature me didn't know how I was causing unnecessary expenses, and how hurtful my moves were. I didn't know better. How my classmates viewed me seemed like the most important thing back then.

Knowing that my family was probably going through some rough financial patches, I decided to save whatever I had left. After CCA, my friends would hang around malls to grab a meal before heading home. I remember sitting in fast food restaurant, and while I looked at my friends queuing for their food, I would tell myself 'There's food at home! Hang in there ok?', while my stomach grumbled. Money just seemed so scarce then, a $5 meal now could be my lunch for the next two days. It just didn't felt right to buy something while I was on my way home. Over time, I think my friends got used to me sitting around watching them eat, they started offering food to me everytime we hung out together. (Thank you friends for not disowning me, haha)

I knew my family didn't have much, I knew I was 'below-average' in financial sense. Thinking back, I just didn't know how bad it was, because of how well my parents concealed it.

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In JC, my pocket money became slightly higher. However, being conditioned to the fact of the tight financial situation at home, I began having the habit of choosing the cheapest item off the menu whenever my friends dined out. Like noodles? Choose the cheapest one. Like rice? Choose the cheapest one. Like drinks? Trick question. You don't get any drinks, you drink plain water from your bottle.

I hated the printing of stacks of notes during the prep of A's, because that meant $ flying away. I also didn't like topping up my EZ-link. Portions of my pocket money had to be squirreled away for such expenses.

Then, University came. Well, well, well. With looks (& how pretty you resume is) being the core of uni life, dolling up and caring for your skin suddenly became essential on your to-do list. With these new superficial needs (as well as basic needs such as food and transport), I took up tutoring, and did short part-time stints during my school breaks, as pocket money was no longer in the picture. I had to be financially responsible on my own.

Everyone around me were shopping on blogshops weekly. On the other hand, I did my daily browsing on Carousell, and hunted for preloved clothes and skincare. I simply couldn't afford that weekly new $50 dress. With a heart itching to have different clothes / skincare while on a tight budget, buying second-hand seemed to be a much more feasible choice. 

I also remember envying classmates when they flew to different parts of the world during school breaks, while I hustled to earn my own keep. I did retail work, F&B work, event work, and continued tutoring.

'Sigh, it must be great not being limited by the amount of money you have.'

Deciding that schooling years would be the best time to head overseas for an extended period of time, I saved up a couple of months' worth of internship pay and bought a ticket to North America in Year 3. I had a great time at my summer school, and every cent was worth it.

But it definitely, definitely blew a hole through my savings.

Money that I've scrimped and saved from earning by the hour, gone within a few weeks.

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I graduated University with $8xx in my bank. Wow, so pathetic right. Money went into one pocket, and out from another, not because I partied and had fun, but just because daily meals and expenses just costed $$$. With an almost empty bank account, it felt like I was starting afresh, financially.

As a fresh graduate, I also had no clue about important stuff like insurance and investment. I was too busy worrying about daily expenses, and they felt like additional things to think about.

I also grew up with the impression that insurance was purely blood sucking stuff. That all agents would be out to con you, and to suck your money dry. Insurance was BAD.

I was very fortunate to secure a job a month after my graduation, after my first interview. I am very thankful I didn't have to go through that whole emotional stress, having to think of ways to buy my next meal as I didn't have a fat bank account. /sweats

Being a full-time adulting employee also meant the most exciting thing ever - having monthly income!!! Such an exciting thought ikr. With a 4-figure amount coming in every month, I knew I HAD to budget, and plan my finances properly. I wanted to do it right.

I graduated during the period where sites like Seedly were popping up. The internet started filling up with pages focusing on personal finance, and tips on managing your finances, or even growing your pool of wealth. 

Man, I got so excited. Here I am, given a chance to decide on my financial future. I scoured the internet to find articles I could relate too, and started reading up on anything I could work on. I downloaded E-books, and discovered new websites. I joined FB groups and saw people sharing about their financial journeys and experiences, and felt so motivated to work on my own. Is it weird to say that I really felt like I was holding my financial future in my hands, and that I had the power to determine how it was going to be? 

I started writing down my expenses, I budgeted the amounts I could spend each month, set aside money to learn driving, read up on investment, insurance, and researched on cards and bank accounts. The more I read, the happier I felt. I loved the gaining of information, especially information which would help make this personal finance journey a little smoother. 

I am definitely still learning now, and am still very excited to learn more. I'm excited to reach a stage in life to let people know that it is still possible to own this journey despite being a regular salaryman. This is also perhaps why I love the page 'The Woke Salaryman'. It provides me with the reassurance that there are people like me out there, navigating through this whole adulting journey while making (hopefully) wise financial decisions. This is because I feel that this whole Delayed Gratification game could get slightly lonely at times. We're living in the world of instant gratification, where we treat ourselves for any hardwork we have done, for any sad or bad days. It definitely takes extra effort to practise delayed gratification, and I am most certainly working towards having this as a habit, as second nature.

So... why do I value personal finance so much? This is because I realise that I am solely responsible for my own personal finance journey, and whatever I do can cause a ripple effect in the many years to come. I have the power to decide what path to take, and it all begins now. :-)

I would also like to mention a few things I've learned over the past few years:

1) I am incredibly, incredibly thankful for my parents. In the recent years, I've learnt that my family survived with $1500/month with 3 kids under the roof, for a couple of years. $1500/month, can you even imagine? I recently googled and I realised that amount could have us qualified for public rental flats. However, we still always had electricity and food, had a clean house to go home to too. 

My parents gave me everything, including a debt-free start after graduation. That, I'm incredibly thankful for. Despite being a low-income household, my parents paid for an endowment plan which allowed for a lump sum payment just in time for the end of my university years. :'') I understand that this is definitely not a given, and not everyone has this luxury. I fully acknowledge this, and I guess I pay them back with my filial piety..........? Heh kidding. I love them very much. They are my heroes.

They also provided us with an incredibly loving family. We may not have much in terms of finances, but we have so much love. Coming back home also meant warmth. I would have my listening ears, and mama would always be there to dish out her advice, whenever necessary. We would eat meals together, share laughter or gather in front of the tv together to catch things like the NDP. Such things are definitely worth more than money. :') Irreplaceable.

2) You are your own captain. You do you. If you think spending money on frivolous things makes you the happiest, do it. If you think saving every cent makes you the happiest, you do it. Just do it while being aware that you shouldn't regret whatever decision you make. 

3) Some things are worth spending money on, some things not. Things like insurance is essential, but don't over-insure. I've learnt to read up on difference insurance types and policies to get myself well-informed, so that I am able to decide what I want. This also allows me to not to suckered in by sweet words of anyone hehe. Things like spending on gatherings which are just societal pressure in disguise? Nah. Not worth it at all. 

4) Personal Finance planning is exciting!! Well, at least for me. It makes me feel like I'm getting my shit together, and I am in control of my own life. I don't enjoy the feeling of reckless spending (lucky for me lol, it all works out), I guess such spending brings me more guilt than adrenaline high hahaha. This means a lot of my purchases are thought through, and this habit would be useful after I retire. Well, not all purchases are well thought through though....... my discipline isn't exactly exercised for things like grocery shopping. I might grab more snacks than I plan for each time I'm at NTUC oops.

5) Conventional 9-5s are really not the only way to earn money anymore. Gone are the days where you can only earn money from slogging out hour by hour. There are just so many avenues to earn money now, just do a quick search online and you'll be drowning in suggestions from different websites. That being said, I am SO ANNOYED by people who are appearing on Youtube ads and telling me I can earn 5-figures by yada yada. I am so unconvinced lol. I, however do acknowledge the fact that the methods of earning money has expanded so much since our parents' days. 

With that, I am still hoping to start with some side hustle, and retire from the age old 9-5. Sometimes, being filled with ideas is not enough. You need that effort to execute, and follow through. Most people die out during the whole following through stage. 

Well, we shall see.

I know I might be late to the whole personal finance game, but what is late when I've still got years ahead to plan and execute, and own it? 26 years old is still a toddler in the adulting world, right? Haha /selfcomfort

Alright, let's hustle on, guys! The world is our oyster. :-)

Being Alone.

This afternoon, I had to attend some training and after the longest time, I had to settle lunch outside alone. Even though I am a true blue introvert, there is just something about solo meals under the glaring eyes of the public that still slightly intimidates me.

I mean, over the past few years, I have definitely grown to be more comfortable with hanging out with just myself. You know those quotes saying ‘Learn how to enjoy spending time with yourself, and you’ll never truly feel alone’? I remember treating that as my mantra for a period of time while I was still schooling haha. It’s the truth, right? It’s just like the saying ‘You must learn to love yourself before knowing how to love someone else.’ And all that jazz. You get my drift.

Due to this little man called Anxiety which always exists within me, I googled for places to comfortably seek solitude during this scary thing called lunch hour. Crazy queues, hungry (ok, more like hangry) people crowding around, chionging and chope-ing seats? Thanks but no thanks. *shudders* Pre-planning is definitely required for a solo trooper like me.

Headed to the shortlisted lunch space and just expected, a long queue was formed outside of it. I looked into my bag containing a paper bag generously given by my co-worker earlier this morning, and felt a sigh of relief. Bag of samosa and goreng pisang! My well-needed sustenance to tide me through the lunch hour.

After spending an hour in the library, I scurried back to said lunch space and was really glad to spot a much smaller crowd. I noticed a tiny seat for 2 from the corner of my eye - yesssss victory!! I plopped myself onto the seat with my big bowl of hot cream soup, ready to spend some alone meal time.

While munching on lunch, I took a look around me. People were mostly in pairs or threes. There were students, office workers, people who looked like they just finished a workout, etc. I listened to the trio beside me talking about how difficult it is to plan for their career - they were entering jc/poly next year, wow - that youth! I WANT IT BACK. The table across had two people taking happy selfies with the food. The lady clearing the tables in front had this constant smile across her face, while she struggled with balancing the stack of bowls she had in her arms. Someone offered to carry a tray for her. She politely declined.

Something about people-watching which is.... weirdly therapeutic. I don’t know. Is that even normal? It kinda just makes me forget about myself, my work, work, work, my schedules, my deadlines. I feel like I’m being placed in this other point of view where I’m in this other bubble while watching the world go by. Silent, peaceful bubble.

You watch how people interact with one another, you notice moments which would normally be overlooked. You notice moments of kindness, moments of angst, moments of happiness.

I looked at the clock and it was almost time. I cleaned up my bowl, took a sip of water and left for my destination.

You know what? I miss such solitude. After starting work, my mind has been in such a whirl. I used to stop and admire life as its own when I was a student. I took slower steps, looked around more often and somehow, that led to me being more grateful and I think.... I just lived.

Even though I told myself to always remember this side of life prior to starting work, I realised only today (after 3 years of work, goodness!) that I have been barely surviving, what more living. To me, living isn't even about going for all kinds of adrenaline-rushy activities. It simply means taking a step back and acknowledging the current state of mind. My mind has always been filled by the tasks I have on hand. I even wake up with the first thought of 'what do I need to complete today?'. It's might not seem too much, but it truly adds up. It slowly eats you up inside, and with a little a day, that insignificance builds up and leaves you with a large mental hole.

With the increase in the focus on mental health these days, I do really appreciate articles floating around the net to remind us to be slightly kinder to ourselves, to take a mental break, albeit rather difficult in this incredibly fast-paced, deadlines-driven society.

You know what? It's so difficult to remember things which aren't emphasised these days. Who focuses on breaks and what not if productivity, efficiency, speed and results are all that's deemed as success nowadays?

I've fallen trap to the mainstream idea of success, and have placed what's truly important (to me) aside for the past few years.


But not today.

What Are We Working Hard For?

It’s the end of Sunday. I looked at the clock, and was thinking to myself - damn, we are already 3 days in, out of 4 days of this long weekend.

I remember starting the week on Monday, wishing it was already Friday. I kinda felt bad for feeling that. I mean, is that how my life is going to be? Looking forward to weekends? How can I possibly live my days fully if i were to only look forward to weekdays, and always wishing that weekdays would come to an end as quickly as possible?

Sometimes i just have such thoughts floating in my head. Is life suppose to be this way? Switching the alarm clock off every 6:30am, snooze a little, jump out of bed, rush for the usual train/bus, look forward to lunch time, look forward to the end of the day, look forward to the end of the week. Spend Sundays dreading Mondays, and the whole cycle begins again.

Am i not treasuring life enough? I am able-bodied, working in a cushy office job with a survivable pay, not having to worry about whether i would be able to feed myself for the next meal, not having to worry whether i would have warm water to take a bath. Am i being ungrateful for overlooking what i already have, these ‘life’s necessities’ which might not be as readily available for the next person? Is it too much to perhaps...... ask for more?

Sometimes i just wonder. I wonder whether others like me have such thoughts. Ain’t life supposed to be something more? Is it too much to desire a life where i could wake up feeling refreshed, and not counting down the weekdays, but to actually look forward to the day i was about to face? Is it too idealistic to want a life where I could feel excitement in my bones and passion under my skin? Or am i asking for too much since i am already (to some) in a ‘comfortable’ environment?

Gah, so many thoughts. This is perhaps, what adulting does to you. You drown yourself with endless questions due to the many possibilities you have in life.

I am completely aware that i am actually in a privileged position to be able to have a choice. Being able to choose is definitely not a universal option, and i would always be grateful for that.

I just have this nagging thought in my gut, that life should be something much more.

And i, and only i am in charge of the direction of where I’m headed, and where I’ll ultimately go.

Thoughts + Update on My Personal Finance Journey

Hello there! It’s a short work week, and we are done with Monday!

Decided to pop by this site to remind myself to not abandon it (yet). *sheepish smile*  Happy to have a long weekend ahead! Thank you National Day, and Hari Raya for blessing us on the same weekend.  Now I cant shake my mind off the 4-day weekend while I hustle through the week (and it is barely the start! Oops).

Recently started on a popular book, This is what Inequality looks like, by Teo You Yenn. Trying to revive my reading habits these days, and attempted my first book reservation. Think it was $1.55? Past me would’ve never spent it, but current working adult me was like ‘$1.55?? Take it.’ Gladly exchanged my time taken to dig for the book with $$ haha. Is this what a time-deprived adult does? Buying convenience with money.

Anyway, I’m currently halfway through the book and i love it. I love how the little essays within the book brings me through the eyes of the writer, as she visits these rental flats and notices trends and stories of the lives of these people. It’s really an eye-opener. I feel like constant reminders are required to remind us how lucky we are, especially because of how easy it is to forget such privileges as we blindly chiong through our daily lives, and get lost and headless in this endless rat race. It’s truly a fresh breath of air as I journey with this book, almost slowly my footsteps and taking a step back to appreciate what I already have, and how far i’ve come.

Sometimes I feel demotivated by this whole ‘working-to-earn-money-so-i-can-save-money-and-retire-or-just-do-what-i-truly-like’ thing, I start to do up my finances to keep track of how far i am from my short-term goals. I was just tabulating my numbers up yesterday, and to my surprise - I am currently well on track for my personal finance goal! *pops confetti* Ifffffff all were to go well..... i might be able to achieve it next year. Y A Y. Now I’m excited to receive my next paycheck, which will come........ next week. I love watching these little figures slowly rise up. It is a satisfaction which is far greater than retail therapy, for me at least.

BUT I MUST CLARIFY. I made a hugeeeee purchase last month - splurged my bonus away yikes and I have no regrets!!!! LOVED IT. Thought it through for super damn long (i think i’d only spend $XXXX on travel lol.), and had a 15min buyer’s regret. But other than that, I FEEL GOOD. May i always remember that life isn’t all about just saving too. :-)

Alrighty, time to find some netflix shows to nua to.

BYE.